Thoughts from a Homeschooling Mom

So I hosted a homeschooling conference for moms back in 1998. The following article is one I wrote for the appendix section in the notebooks I gave out at the event.   I know not everyone home schools - but since we did, I get asked about it a lot.  I didn't do everything right.  I often felt like a failure.  I often took my eyes off Jesus - but He always brought my vision back into focus.  He helped me.  He did it through me.  My children are so much better than I will ever hope to be.  My prayer is that these thoughts will encourage you whether you homeschool or not.   I called this article "Homeschooling Stumbling Blocks."  These 13 years later, I still stand by them.

Homeschooling Stumbling Blocks

·          Not seeking the Lord about His will for your family

·          Borrowing someone else’s convictions

·          Expecting your first year to go as smoothly as those who have been at it a while

·          Homeschooling without husband’s approval

·          Disorganization or unwillingness to plan and organize your days

·          Undisciplined kids

·          Comparing yourself to others

·          Floating from one curriculum to another

·          Failure to develop your own educational philosophy -why you do what you do

·          Failure to connect with other homeschoolers for support and encouragement

·          Failure to give your children the time they need

·          Making your children your altar -- in the past, families were neglected on the altar.  Both extremes are wrong.  Our families should be involved with us in ministry.  It is the Lord Christ Whom we serve.

·          Not having a proper balance of work/academics/ministry.  Successful homeschooling will incorporate all three.

·          Not being an integral part of a local church -- God instituted the church.  I think it is tragic when homeschoolers become isolated and form their own homeschooling churches.  Instead of coming under the leadership of a Bible-teaching church and using their gifts to build up the body, they gather in what they call “house churches.”  Most of this is totally unbiblical.  I would encourage you to get involved in a good local church, commit yourselves to serving there and watch God bless  your family.  Your family needs to be fragrant aroma -- not a divisive spirit.  And your children need to see and be a part of your active role in the local church that God appointed.  If you have a legitimate concern about the direction of your church or ministries that you personally don’t take part in, go to your leaders in humility -- pray for your leaders -- but don’t be a gossip and a tale-bearer and complainer!  If your church is straying from the truth of God’s Word, then that is another issue.  You should find another church (or perhaps start one -- open to all) just like everyone else, homeschooling or not.  But if your church has godly leadership you need to be a support and help just like all the saints Paul mentions by name in the New Testament who “supported the work of the Lord.”  He also mentions “brothers and sisters” who were troublemakers.  Let your children see your biblical involvement in Christ’s body.  This is another part of explaining to your children the “Joshua 4” principle.  And that’s leads up to the next stumbling block:

·          A divisive/critical spirit

·          An air of superiority concerning certain types of curriculum.  God is very creative and He leads people to use different things.  One style or one type is not better than another.  We are to encourage one another; not become prideful over curriculum choices -- that’s silly!!  As you begin to homeschool, you’ll hear lots of terms like “living books”  (Charlotte Mason coined the phrase).  In it simplest form,  it just means is that you are exposing your children to biographies and accounts of the events and people of history as opposed to just reading a segmented portion in a textbook.  Many “homeschoolers”  are opposed to textbooks altogether, but I feel that approach is like throwing the baby out with the bath water.  Textbooks can be a launching pad, a springboard, to get you started.  In a textbook, someone has taken the time to organize the defining moments and people of history, science, literature and I find textbooks to be very helpful.  Remember, any curriculum will work if you are  excited about it and get into your child’s life.  If textbooks are all you have, use  them to your advantage and visit the library.  Don’t feel like you are less of a “true homeschooler” because you aren’t “doing your own thing.” 

·          Becoming so serious that you’re no fun!!

·          Relying too much on learning modalities or personality profiles -- while these can be helpful; my own personal opinion is that too often they become a distraction.  Walk with God.  Grow in the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. Just get to know your kids.  Spend time with them.  You’ll do fine.  God’s Word says nothing about learning styles, modalities, or personality profiles.  But He says everything about the fruit of the Spirit and becoming like Jesus.

·          Making law out of things that God does not specifically address:  homeschoolers do this a lot concerning food choices, clothing choices (I’m not talking about modesty here), make-up, courtship/dating, breastfeeding, home births, baking bread (for goodness sake!), music, group activities among teens, age segregation (our families do not have to be together at all times -- this is an extreme).  Most of the time it is a reaction to the fragmented culture we live in.  We are not to run to  extremes; we are to be sober-minded and weigh our decisions based on God’s Word,

·          Arrogance toward those who do not homeschool

·          Crowding life with activities that don’t fit with God’s purpose

·          Exclusive relationships -- an attitude of being better than others

·          Judging other people’s children

·          Being so consumed with “doing school,” there’s no joy. Love life!  Live life with your children and learn along the way - even when not at the books.  

·          Saying no to ministry opportunities without thinking

·          Unrealistic expectations -- there is a difference between living a life of expectancy and placing unrealistic expectations on yourself and others.  If I don’t expect my husband to meet all my needs, then I won’t be disappointed when he can’t.  If I don’t expect my house to look like House Beautiful, then I won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t; If I don’t expect my children to be perfect, then I won’t be disappointed when they’re not.  The most unhappy people are those who live with unrealistic expectations.  But the most content are those who live with a sense of expectancy about what God wants to do and can do in their lives.  That’s called faith.  And without faith, it is impossible to please God.  If I expect interruptions, messes, bad hair days, feeling tired, growing old, dirty floors, noise, then I have a lot better chance of living happily.  Abraham Lincoln once said, “Most people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”   I agree.  The Bible calls it contentment.  “Godliness with contentment is great gain.”

·          Lack of prayer and dependence on the Lord is probably the biggest stumbling block for both those new to homeschooling and those who have been at it a long time.  As I write this, we are finishing our tenth year of homeschooling let me remind you, we are still in process -- we haven’t arrived; we are always learning.  And  we’ll always be in process.  We depend on God for our daily bread.  Yes we plan, organize and schedule our days and years but God directs our steps -- one baby step at a time.

So that was my article.  And now, after finishing our 23rd year of homeschooling, I am still in process.  I am still learning.