Finish the Blankets

Chesed and I had just worked out a good halfway point to meet for a Lois trade-off. In case that doesn't make sense to some of you who are reading this, let me explain.

Jeremy and Chesed lived in DC. I say "lived" because they now live in Boston.   Lois was just getting old enough to visit with Carl and me all by herself.  So this past summer when Carl and I made a trip to see Jeremy and Chesed, Lois came back with us to stay a few days.  Chesed figured out that the Cracker Barrel in Wilson, NC was a good halfway meeting spot - about 4 hours for the both of us.  We did it once.

Then Jeremy got accepted to Harvard Law and they moved to Boston.  Now DC is the halfway spot.  Wow - how disappointing is that (not the moving but the distance) - not a drive we can do in one day.  So, now I find myself using Airfare Watchdog because I am aching to travel to Boston - I want to be a part of Lois' and Ruth's lives.  I will be a part of their lives - God willing.

I learned how to search for cheap tickets when Jordan was at Harvard and now I'm doing it again. I'm familiar with Logan Airport and I know where the Starbucks is.  

I've been doing this since the birth of my first grandchild.  I flew to Detroit, then Boston, and now make the drive to Atlanta.  I bring a child or two or three back with me - and Augusta is the meeting place for the Jack/Luke/Claire trade-off.  I love the drive on SC 68 - I always notice the little towns and the cows in the open fields just before the Savannah River Site - and I particularly love seeing the little country churches.

Having time with my grandchildren is high on my priority list.  I think it's because I know the Scripture - this is part of God's plan - to invest, impart, spend time with, leave a legacy in the lives of your children's children - and the ones yet to born.  But I know it's also because of the sweet time I had with my grandma.

When I was a little girl, Grandma Hill  lived 4 miles down the road. I could get off the school bus with Aunt Nelva if I wanted time with her - which I did - a lot.  I would help her in the kitchen and the garden,  try to catch the cats (she never wanted them to be pets - only useful in the barn), and do whatever she asked me to do.  I thought it was so fun just to hang with her - I never really knew I was working.  Not with her.  Now I knew all about work with Granddaddy Hill - in tobacco - in the hot summer.  But that's another story.

Granddaddy and Grandma Hill. 1982. With Jeremy.

I only knew one of my grandmas because Daddy's mama, Grandma McKay, died when I was 3 years old. I have a vague memory of sitting in her lap in a rocking chair during a thunderstorm. She was singing and humming.   She was comforting to me because I was intensely afraid of thunderstorms. But that's all I remember. I do think that made a lasting impression on me. 

To this day, one of my favorite things to do is rock my grandchildren and sing to them.

Daddy told me Grandma McKay was in her early fifties when she died.   I don't remember that.  I don't remember missing her at the time.  But I have missed her since.  I have missed knowing her.  

But, in God's sovereign plan, He gave Mama's mama to me. And she lived to see all of my children.  She made a blanket for each one of them (as she did for all in her family).  She would start a blanket as soon as she learned of a new pregnancy.   Even Jameson knew her - even Jameson received a blanket from her.  I remember how she gave it to me before he was born because as she said, "What if God takes me home before I finish it?  Or what if I'm not able? I want to finish it so I have to work now, while I have the time."

Jameson was born in 1993.  She died in 1998, just a few days before his 5th birthday. But she had a brain aneurysm a couple of years before she died and it greatly affected her ability to crochet and knit. She lived with the reality time was slipping by.

All of my children loved her and in typical Grandma Hill fashion, she could make each one of them feel like he/she  was the most special person in the world. 

Man, I miss her. I'm thankful my children knew her and wanted to visit with her.  She always seemed so happy to see them.  She gave  "hmmm, hmmm" hugs and  kisses.  She lavished love.  She just did.  I wish my grandchildren knew her. 

But in a sense they do -  because they know me.   I see Grandma Hill's style coming out all over the place.  I learned how to be a grandma from her. 


 I've always wanted to be as special to my grandchildren as she was to me. I hope I'm doing a good job.

I've been thinking how times have changed. Distance. Flights. Skype. FaceTime.  It's not the same as 4 miles down the road.  

I sometimes want to reach back in time and travel those 4 miles again - which eventually stretched to 130 miles when our family moved to North Carolina.  Then the distance stretched to hundreds and hundreds as my young family moved to Texas before coming back to South Carolina.  But I always made time to see Grandma Hill and let my children know her.  Now I do the same with my mama and daddy.  When I have my grandchildren, we go see my parents.  They lavish love on them.

I had a lot of time with Grandma Hill.  I had barely any time with Grandma McKay.  And I think - if all my grandchildren had of me was the time we've already spent together - what impression would they carry their whole lives?  What would they tell their children? What kind of legacy have I given them already?

Back in 1980, when I became a wife - loving and helping my husband became my agenda, my job. 

Then God added more responsibility to my job when I became a mother.  My children became my agenda.   

1988.  With Grant.

They still are. I would drop ANYTHING to do ANYTHING for them. And now? Their children are part of my agenda. They are ALWAYS on my mind. 

I only have a little time. I want to "finish the blankets" because - what if God takes me home before I finish?  To live for Christ and to take His assignment in my life seriously is cause to live everyday to the fullest.  To have my mind and heart set on His agenda is what I care about.

I know - my mindset is different than so many in the fifty-plus generation today.  No, I don't want to just play - unless the playing involves building into my children's and grandchildren's lives.  Yes, I want to go to the beach but most of the time, I want to build sandcastles with a 3-year-old. 

I want to ride a bike but I want to do with a child.  I want to pick up the pecans that are falling fast and furiously in my yard but I like it best when I have a few grandchildren helping me because we talk about God and life.  I want to bake a cake with a little person licking the bowl.  

I want to draw pictures and teach the Bible to children who are hearing the great stories for the first time and who are not bored. I want to make shapes out of rice crispies and marshmallows for a daddy's birthday.  I want to mail surprises to a little girl who is obsessed with cats.  I want to get out the felt board and puzzles and - well, you get the picture.

I only have a short time to do these things - and one day, if the Lord hasn't taken me home and if I'm able, I'll have great grandchildren and it will all continue . . . until . . . 

There's song called 100 Years by Five for Fighting.  One of the lyrics is "When you've only got 100 years to live."  I love the song but the reality is that most of us do not have 100 years.  We have 70 and if due to strength 80.  That's the truth of Psalm 90.  God may give us less or He may give us more - BUT He calls all of us to live our lives for Him.  I think the song is encouraging because it is a reminder.