Quiet

It's just hard. Saying goodbye to the house full of my people. My big people. My little people . Those with masculine voices. Those with feminine voices. And I know I will see them again. I will make the effort. But after all of us being together for so many fun noisy crazy days, the quiet that entered when they left seemed unusually lonely this time.

I like quiet when I choose it but I don't like it when it barges into my life, when it follows me around everywhere, whispering to me, sneaking up behind me, reminding me of its silence, forcing me to absorb it. Almost mocking me . . . Ha! They are gone and I am the only one left. It's me . . . And my name is Quiet.

Quiet did that to me to me today. He decided to hang out with me as I cleaned, as I went running, as I answered emails, as I proofed documents, as I ran errands.I got used to his presence, decided to friend him, and tried to accept and understand his benefits. Though I would not deliberately choose to hang out with him, I am learning to be content with him.

Contentment. I will learn it. But . . . I am so much more content when Quiet leaves. And yes, he knows he has to disappear and leave me alone when my children and grandchildren call, when they come home - every time they call my name. When Quiet disappears, I don't miss him. I just miss them.

So today, as soon as the last of my children and grandchildren left, quiet just barged right in. Didn't even ask if he could come. Like an uninvited guest. But in his silence, he made me realize something - because my children are walking with God and doing all the things they ought to be doing, they are the very reason I met quiet. And Iremember how years ago, those same children introduced noise to me and I grew to absolutely love him! He was so much fun - still is.

So now, I'll be content with Quiet's little visits. God uses him to teach me. I am so blessed to have my sons. I am so blessed to have my daughter. I am so blessed to have Chesed and Maureen and Grant. I am so blessed to have my grand boys and girls. I am so blessed to be married to such a good man. Constant noise has faded to occasional visits from quiet. I'll welcome him as long as he doesn't stay too long . . .